Wasn’t life so great back then?

Nostalgia.

We love it. I love it. We look back on days past and we remember how great things were.

I love to watch movies that depict an era gone by. They remind me of some of the good that we’ve lost. 

I watch 80s movies and see people in life before cell phones and I think how great that was––how much better things were before cell phones. 

I see simpler times, when I was younger and my worst concern was, well I didn’t have many concerns, it seems. I was pretty carefree. (Of course, when you read my memoir, you’ll realize that wasn’t true at all, it just seemed that way at times)

Recently I went through some old pictures, trying to find a picture or two for my book. As I looked over my high school pictures and yearbooks, I read notes from my classmates to me.

“You are one unique person.”

“Vocational Business wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“You’re strange. You’re still a cool person though.”

“Thanks for being such a good friend and being so fun to be around.”

“With you there, things are done with a touch of excitement and humor.”

Suddenly, I remembered my fun self. I remember how my sole purpose in life used to be to have fun. What a great life!

That’s the allure and danger of nostalgia. Nostalgia can be nice, romantic even. To remember and be drawn in by all of the good. I love it.

But nostalgia should always be balanced with reality. It tempts us to be drawn in and remember only the good.

It’s a great thing to remember the past as only good, but when we do, we escape the reality of all the hard times as well. This can leave us feeling unfulfilled in the present, as if we could only go back.

I’m glad my classmates found some good things to say about and to me in those final notes. When I read those words now, I wonder, where has all the fun gone? I can be so determined now, to be accomplished or serious or take responsibility. How did I get 47 years old?!

I think it’s important when we look back to be thankful for the good. To relish in it for a bit. But to take that experience and let it speak into the present. Do I need to be more fun? Do I need to lighten up a bit? Is there a good reason to be more serious? What has my focus on accomplishment or responsibility given me?

Perspective. It’s important to take it all in perspective.

Today is not supposed to be like the past. I’ve grown. I’ve matured. And though there were many positive aspects to my personality in the past, hopefully I can maintain the best of the past while becoming a better person today.

I challenge you, as you look at your past with nostalgia, to consider the good from your past. 

But also to know why and how you are where you are today.

What aspects from your past would you like to revisit and renew in your life?

What aspects from your past are you simply thankful that you don’t have to relive?

What can you learn from who you were and who you’ve become?

What’s next? What are you going to incorporate into your life now to make it even better?

These TWO things I HATE

I hate asking for help and I hate selling things. Both of these make me feel really uncomfortable inside, as if I’m putting other people out. Sometimes, I can get over those two things if I know what I am asking for or what I am “selling” is good for them. But I still hate it. I see people’s reactions when others try to sell things and I don’t want to make them feel the same way. 

My struggle with asking for help is probably related to being a man. I want to be self-sufficient, to not depend on anyone else. I want to be the one that others depend on. Come to me, I will help you the best I can. I am a helper, myself, and that makes it weird and hard for me to ask for help.

It is doubly hard when the person I am trying to sell or ask for help is a stranger, rather than a  close friend.

There are these two stories in my book. 

When I was in the sixth grade, my dad wanted me to go to our new neighbors, introduce myself and welcome them to our apartment complex. I was terrified. I’m a bit of an introvert and more so with strangers. Not to mention, I was eleven years old and being “forced” to speak to a strange adult. What will they think? What will I say? What am I supposed to say? How do I do this? These thoughts ran through my mind. I had no confidence and felt so stupid.

I still feel this way today in these types of circumstances and I am far removed from being eleven.

My dad, on the other hand, was great at asking for help. He was even better at selling stuff. He was never a salesman, per se. But he had a way with words. He had a way of talking people into doing things, even strangers, particularly strangers. I used to tell people the story where he walked into a small town gas station where we just moved to, talked to the cashier for twenty minutes and walked out with a free hat. He just had a way.

In many ways, I admired him for that ability. 

Not me, though. I’m not that guy. It’s hard for me to do. 

It takes a lot of emotional gumption and energy.

Yet, here I am. I am asking for your help and selling something in the process.

My memoir, Never Settled releases on Sunday, December 27th. 

My parent’s anniversary. Their first anniversary after my dad’s passing.

When an author self-publishes, particularly their first project, they don’t have a budget for advertising, traveling to book promotions and the like. What is going to sell this book, will be word of mouth. Today, word of mouth includes social media and texting. It also includes writing book reviews on Goodreads, Amazon or wherever else the opportunity arises.

Photo by lalesh aldarwish on Pexels.com

I would appreciate it, if you like what you read, if you find it meaningful and hopeful, please, please, share it with others. Feel free to share your paper copy, if you buy one. But definitely share with others on social media, text messages and through book reviews what you thought of the book. 

Will you consider sharing my posts on social media with others when you see them?

Will you consider sharing my links through text messages for those not on social media?

Will you consider talking about my book with other book lovers?

Will you consider writing a review?

Will you consider buying someone a copy of the book?

My concern is not so much, sales. I do hope it helps propel us into our next step in life (more on that later). But for this book, for this project, I hope to get the message out there. 

I hope to get hope out there. I want people to know that you can overcome your difficult life situations and there is hope!

Will you help me share this message?