I am stuck between.
I read a couple of authors that have incredible teaching talents. They take these truths from the Bible that have been there all along that no one wants to talk about because they are not sure how to use them and they make them make sense with more information about the culture and/or traditions of the day. They are two of the most biblical authors I know in this sense. I’ve already mentioned one, Rob Bell. He’s been tossed out by most evangelical Christians. His attempts at moving the church forward has been met with much disdain.
The other is Frank Viola. He probably would be tossed out by most evangelical leaders because he points out the unbiblical nature of our churches, church culture and traditional teaching. I say, that “he probably would be tossed out” because he isn’t popular enough for most to even be aware of his teaching. Yet, he is one of the most biblical authors I know. He would challenge most contemporary speakers and pastors, even if they didn’t attend the same schools of theology. He is controversial because he upsets the norms of our day, calling for the church to return to its roots. His attempts to at returning the church to its roots has been met with much disdain.
In addition, I have the spiritual gifts of administration and teaching. My gift of administration is very much related to systems. I am a systems person. I think about systems all of the time. I constantly analyze what needs to be fixed in a process and/or how to make it better. The desire to perfect systems and share them with others so that we can improve them has been a large aspect of God’s leading me to plant house churches years ago. Then I began to learn more about organic churches, house churches, and/or simple churches that meet in homes and other locations. My mind was turned upside down. My church world eyes were renewed.
Yet, when I spoke to the average Christian about these things, it was like a deer in headlights. They didn’t know if they should move or even react. They usually just listened and remained fairly silent on the issues. When I spoke to Christian leaders, they were defensive of their own positions, asking questions only enough to see if they wanted to toss me out of the evangelical water or pray for me. Upsetting a leader’s church world theology can be very damaging. I know. I’ve experienced it. Now I can’t go back. But, I also can’t go forward. I’m stuck between.
I believe in one system. But, no one else around me seems to. I see value in the other system and believe that I have some gifts and talents to make it even better, but no else seems to know that about me or notice that in me. I’m stuck between.
I truly believe that God is calling me to write. He has given me a passion for this and I hope that it is helping people, at least in small ways right now. Maybe that is where I will begin to upset the apple cart as I express some of these ideas that impact the church world and my world.
Maybe, he will use me in bigger ways as he leads me down this path of writing. I pray that whoever reads my words that God gives me may be blessed, encouraged and empowered to serve God.